Chapter 39

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In a few months, I will be turning 39 which will mark my last year in my 30s. It is crunch time. What I mean by crunch time is that I get more focused and consistent with the birthing the things in life that I have been carrying for so long. I have been hearing the whispers from that small still voice and it is time out for doing things a little here and a little there. I have to go full force with it. It will be ugly. It may even be uncomfortable. It may be awkward but it is something that has to be done.

Now on March 29, 2017, I decided to do the big chop with my hair and go natural. It is not like I have not done this before but for some reason this time, it required me to think this thing through and take into account the work that has to be put into doing it right. I was in the transition process of just letting the perm grow out and I was just wearing protective styles while I was going through but something was bothering me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but daily, I just never seemed to be satisfied with my look. I felt awkward and unsure. I took selfies and just was never pleased with any of them but I tried to force myself to like them. I was just uncomfortable in my skin. In my body. In my life. Everything around me just did not seem to mesh like I wished it did. It the midst of the chaos, there were good moments. Moments that I wished would last forever. Then there were the moments that I wish would just end. The uncertainty was present in full force but the one thing that I did know for sure was that the common denominator of it all was me. That little still voice was getting louder and louder about the things that I need to be doing get on track and wrangle it all together. That still voice was screaming louder and louder that there were some things that I needed to get a move on.  So since I have cut my hair and am wearing a natural, I feel a freedom that I have never felt before. I am embracing my natural beauty and my natural self and it feels good. I have gone natural before but this feeling was not apart of it at all. This is only the beginning of something wonderful. I can feel it.

To anyone out there that is feeling like they are sitting, just sitting in a point in your life, then it is time to get up. Your first step is getting up and owning up to what it is time to do. No longer can you live in the shadows of others. No longer will you sit on the sidelines. No longer will you do a little here and a little there to just get ahead.  It is time to really de-stress, de-clutter, and just revamp it all. It is not about what you will lose, it is more about what you will gain in the end. You may lose people and certain situations may become awkward but in the end you will gain a renewed mind, renewed sense of self, new view and a new leash on life. Everything that you may have lost in the process will be replaced and replaced abundantly. It will be more about quality and not quantity.

Let Chapter 39 begin…..

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Existence 

How do you live in a world where you feel that you do not exist? Although your physical body is present and can be seen, you still feel like you are not seen nor heard. You feel as if everyone is talking circles around you but no-one is truly taking the time to hear you and gain some understanding on how you feel or how you have been impacted by daily situations.  How?

Been a minute…

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Well, we about close to ending another month in the new year. How are your goals coming? How are your resolutions coming? How are your changes coming? I hope that they are coming along great. If you have messed up, I hope that you picked it right back up and kept at it. See nothing happens overnight. It requires works. It requires ups and downs. It requires persistence, even when it seems like nothing is working. Too often, people will try to do things to change their life, their ways and do something new to better themselves and their current situations. As soon as something does not seem to go right or nothing seems to be happening the way that they hoped, they bail and sometimes never come to pick it back up. They feel defeated and that it is not worth it and the safest thing to do is to go back to what is comfortable and what is safe. Better yet, go back to what they already know. I am here to tell you that that is not they way to go. Being comfortable is not always the best things. Yes, you know what will happen, who is there and everything to expect. You can never get better or know better if you don’t do better or just get outside of your comfort zone. I do not speak generally. I speak from sheer experience.I have taken some leaps of faith in the new year and it wasn’t easy but it had to be done and more is to come.

Remember I shared with you some time back that someone invested in me to start selling the Paparazzi Jewelry. Things started off slow but when I got my first in-person sale and first online order, I was ecstatic. It was a start to something new. I enjoy coming up with ideas and plans on how I want to grow this in the near future. Every time I sell or talk to someone about it, I get excited. Whether they buy or not, I am still excited because this is something that I had no idea I really could do and I enjoy doing it. All it took was a small step. Yes, I see people really rocking in this business with their parties and their inventory. Instead of sulking, being jealous or having a pity party, I am in awe, taking notes and excited for them because I know that will be me one day. In the mean time, I work what I have and keep pushing. So today, I put something out there on social media that I would call a “vulnerable” moment because it requires people to share something to win a free piece from me. Before I hit post, I almost talked myself out of it and was like “You know that noone is gonna pay any attention to that, let alone share” and stuff like that but I had to shake it off. I put in my mind that no matter what happens, whether noone shares or even just 1 that I will be grateful and continue to defy the odds. All it takes is one, and you know what? I got one. I stepped outside the box and cast off fears and just went for it. That was all it took.

Faith is the ability to believe that things will work out and it will be alright without seeing a way. Faith is fully relying on God to handle every single part of your life and depend on Him to work on your behalf. Faith is believing that everything is possible through Him. Faith is the complete opposite of fear.

So, today I just wanted to encourage someone to just get rid of your fear with your faith. I promise you that your will and your faith are stronger than you think. God created you, remember? And He don’t make no junk. So go for it and find the beauty in those ashes!

 

 

Back to the basics…

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Well today I decided to walk some of my neighborhood  and boy was it refreshing. I listened to my 90s station on Pandora and also made it my grateful walk that my bishop said that we should have. It’s when you take a walk and think about all the things that you are grateful for. Well I spoke mine out loud and didn’t care how crazy I looked to onlookers as I was talking to myself. It was a great release and it felt good walking and talking with my Creator and getting to see more of the neighborhood in which I live.

I guess one of the things that I am truly grateful for is growth. I declared and decreed that 2017 was gonna be the year that I slay and bring forth all it is in me to fruition. I will enjoy every step of the process. I have come to terms with that every body has a different process of how they get to where they want to be and I can truly admire each and every process. I used to beat myself up because I used to feel like I didn’t measure up against certain people and situations.I would feel like I wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough, had enough money, clothes or shoes, or respected  enough. As time went on, I realized that all of that was not about them but it was all me. I look back on those times now and I am just thankful for being able to come from that stinking thinking. I say that to say this. Never think of yourself as less than. Never think that you are not enough because you are. The next time you see someone that you think has more or is doing more or whatever, remember you have no idea what they had to go through to get there and get what they have. When you see someone who always has an entourage or somebody is always shouting them out for something, always remember you have no clue what they had to do to get there. See some have risen from the ashes and have made something of themselves and should be commended while you have others who are secretly hurting and dealing with some things that only being in the center of attention can fill. You never know what someone is going through so you have to proceed with caution. Treat everybody right. Never belittle yourself to make someone else feel good. Remember your process and your progress is just that…your process and your progress. Do your thing and yours alone. Continue to find beauty in those ashes!

2017

The new year is finally here and I am so excited about it and I hope that you are too because this is the year of possibilities and just doing so much more than the norm. You are greater and it is high time that you fully embrace that. There is so much more to you than just your job, just your career, just your normal day to day and just…just. Make this the year you whip it all in shape or even just get started and being consistent with the process. Let that be your word for the year: consistency. Be consistent with everything that you do and decide to do.

Let’s get this together now. Make a list of things you want to do, dreams, goals or whatever you name it……..

 

I will return later…..Feel free to post on this. Let’s hold each other accountable and support one another and help each reach those goals.

I Just Wanna…

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I know that it has been yet another minute since I last blogged. Please believe that so much has transpired that I am still in awe. Now with Christmas being gone and the new year coming in, I am go-mode. I can honestly say that I have never anticipated a new year with this much excitement….this much anxiousness ( is that even a word, oh well)…this much “I JUST WANNA” talks that I give myself on the daily.

I just wanna slay 2017! I just wanna slay 2017 spiritually, physically, mentally, and financially. I want 2017 to be the year of goal slaying. I just wanna slay 2017 to shreds!

The spiritual slay is nurturing my relationship with God and getting deeper into my prayer life and in His Word. I will by no means be perfect but I will be better. I will truly trust every situation in His care and take my hands off of it. I will walk further into my divine purpose that He has planned for me. The spiritual slay is the ultimate slay!

The physical slay is drinking more water and getting back to being active. I walk more and get outside more. I will be out and about more. The physical slay is about getting my move back on and it is simple as that!

The mental slay is about letting go of the past, people and situations that I have allowed to hold me down and back. It is about being more mindful and vigilant about what I allow into my spirit: my mind, body and soul. All negativity must cease and I can only allow what will build me up and feed my spirit. I will be more careful about what I put out into the atmosphere. The mental slay is the final slaying of a beast that has made me drag my feet about life so TOODLES!

The financial slay is about putting my all into the business that someone got started for me by anonymously investing in me. I will have my coins set up to fuel my now and my future. I will be that entrepreneur that will inspire, encourage, motivate and have fun with this business and make it do what it do. The financial slay is me diving all the way in owning that I am a black female entrepreneur who is gonna have her financials in check!

Beautiful bling for only $5….you simply can’t beat that and I sell what I love! Get your shop on and join and join a winning and get your own business started at:

http://www.paparazziaccessories.com/58113

So yes, I am excited about the possibilities of 2017 and want to encourage others to feel the same. Make goals not resolutions. Set the stage for greatness. It doesnt matter where you start in life, it is about how you finish. Change your mindset. Change your path. Change your life. Keep it kingdom. Keep it klassy (yes with a “k”). SLAY 2017!

GRACE

Happy Monday! I wanted to share with you the Word that I got from my Bishop’s sermon yesterday.

5 ATTRIBUTES OF GRACE

  1. ENABLING GRACE: 1 Timothy 1:12

12I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has granted me [the needed] strength and made me able for this, because He considered me faithful and trustworthy, putting me into service [for this ministry]

God will enable you to do the things you need to do and that are deemed impossible.

 

  1. SUSTAINING GRACE: Psalm55:22

22Cast your burden on the Lord [release it] and He will sustain and uphold you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (slip, fall, fail).

God will keep you at all times.

 

  1. RESTRAINING GRACE: Genesis 20:1-7

1 Now Abraham journeyed from there toward the Negev (the South country), and settled between Kadesh and Shur; then he lived temporarily in Gerar. Abraham [a]said [again] of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” So [b]Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took [c]Sarah [into his harem]. But God came to Abimelech in a dream during the night, and said, “Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken [as your wife], for she is another man’s wife.” Now Abimelech had not yet come near her; so he said, “Lord, will you kill a people who are righteous and innocent and blameless [regarding Sarah]? Did Abraham not tell me, ‘She is my sister?’ And she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ In the integrity of my heart and innocence of my hands I have done this.” Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know you did this in the integrity of your heart, for it was I who kept you back and spared you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not give you an opportunity to touch her. So now return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her [to him], know that you shall die, you and all who are yours (your household).”

God will restrain you and other people from destroying you and your path.

 

  1. GREAT GRACE: Acts 4:32-33

32 Now the company of believers was of one heart and soul, and not one [of them] claimed that anything belonging to him was [exclusively] his own, but everything was common property and for the use of all. 33 And with great ability and power the apostles were continuously testifying to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace [God’s remarkable lovingkindness and favor and goodwill] rested richly upon them all.

God will allow you to be great and not mediocre.

 

  1. EMERGENCY GRACE: Hebrews 4:14

14 Inasmuch then as we [believers] have a great High Priest who has [already ascended and] passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession [of faith and cling tenaciously to our absolute trust in Him as Savior].

God will give you grace in the time of need.

Need I say that this Word has stuck with me throughout tonight and today so there is something powerful because I truly received it. I will elaborate more on each one as it is given to me.

Checks and Balances 

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So we are getting towards the end of the year. There’s alot of family and friends getting together and whole bunch of shopping going on. Yeah, we all are swiping and pulling out cash. We are spending time and spending money. At the end of the  day, we do what we do and how we do it because we love it and have fun doing  it. Now when all the spending is done, we start looking at credit card statements and bills trying to figure how we can get it all straightened up. We take the time to check and balance our finances. We move things around. Take this back. Take that back. Face it, sooner or later, we get it back right…..no matter how long it lasts. So if we can do that with our money then why can’t we do that for ourselves?

Check your circle and see who does and doesn’t belong. Check your heart and see what grudges and old pains you are holding on to. Check your mindset and see if there is more in you because you may have limited your talent, dreams and aspirations. Check your time and see if you are using it wisely. Check your life…is there more to it? Check yourself and everything connected to it. Once you have decluttered and sifted through and began working through the things that are unnecessary, then it is time to find balance.

Balance your new time and new mindset so that you can live the life that was predestined. Balance your time so that you won’t become overwhelmed. Balance the people in your life and the time that they have in it. Balance your active time in doing things that define and cultivate who you are and nuture your inner man to solidify spiritually  whose you are. If everything feels  chaotic, uncontrollable or you feel overwhelmed, it’s time to go over your  checks and balances. There’s beauty in all your ashes….